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Are You Doing What You Set Out To Do?

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I was having dinner with friends one time, and when I asked what he does, he gave me this wordy title that clearly went over my head, not to mention it was in an industry that I find rather difficult to comprehend. It was a long-winded terminology I can’t even recall what he said.  I replied, “I didn’t know there was such a thing!”.  It was the kind of designation you most likely never dreamed of because you probably didn’t know it even existed.

“Did you ever foresee yourself in this job when you were in school?”, I asked.

He replied, “No. I wanted to be a chef.”

There was a time when we declared what we set out to do. We said it with conviction, with clarity. We knew we could do it because we believed. And then life happened, many of us end up being one of the little cogs of a machinery built on routine, endless paperwork, planning meetings to plan other meetings, days that become years weighing down until our dreams are flattened and pummelled into something that’s barely a whisper of a memory.

When I was 4, there were two things I told anyone who would ask what I wanted to do. I declared that I wanted to be an artist and a teacher.  I count myself fortunate as I actually did and continue to do what I originally set out to do. It did, however, take me almost twenty years to make that switch and commit to my first love: art.  I dug up this book for the first time in a long time.  When I looked at the dedication, I realised it was given to me in 2006, shortly before I hit a creative block in 2007. 

So what took so long, and why did I resort to Plan B and procrastinate my creative dream?  I can think of three things that held me back:

1. Limiting beliefs

As a child born in the 70s and grew up in the 80s, I was told that art was not a job nor is it a career. The idea was never taken seriously and simply was not an option for out middle-class family.  However, they did praise and encourage my art as a hobby and something fun to do, but nothing beyond that.  I was trained to believe that a career meant a fixed monthly pay check, working behind a desk and sticking to one company all the way until retirement. And that’s when they said I should do what I loved.

2. Poverty consciousness

Art was not something I thought would pay unless you are extremely gifted, like the great masters or come from a well-to-do family.  Again, this is what I was taught.  I grew up in the era that fostered the image of the “starving artist”, something I always thought would happen  if I pursued a career in art.

3.  Self-doubt

Being my own worst critic, this is perhaps the most pronounced reason that affected my career. Linking back to my first reason, I always thought art, to be of any value to anyone, had to be serious, perfect and staid.  I compared myself to other classmates who could draw a life-like face with proper shading and shadows, or a landscape with such accurate perspective. I look at my skewed and lopsided scraggly strokes and splotches of bright colors and it never occurred to me that I had what it takes to make a profession out of it.

Well, guess what?  Years and a slew of chances later, and even if I didn’t go to art schoolI finally did!

Are you doing what you always said you would do?

What made you do it, or what is holding you back?

A List Of Sketchbooks

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For the longest time, people have been asking me about sketchbook recommendations and what brands I use.

Finally, two new things today:

  1. a video, and
  2. all the sketchbooks and journals I use.

I hope this helps! Sorry it took so long but I’m glad I soldiered on and put this together 🙂

Next video coming up answers the question: “What pens do you use?”

 

Make Room For Your Life

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Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Out with the old, in with the new.

Whenever I have loads to think about, the first thing I do is clean up. And when I say “clean up”, I mean I use it as a time to de-clog and de-clutter my energy by sorting, throwing and donating stuff.

This is a habit that I built for myself since I was in high school (that’s an almost 30 year-old habit to date!), long before Konmari Method became a thing. I have a mental quarterly purging system, one that started when I used to throw no-longer-needed quiz sheets, activity papers, circulars and scratch paper. The ability to purge has become automatic that I don’t notice that I do it quite regularly.

For those who find this to be a gargantuan task (it’s only massive if you allow lots of stuff to pile up), here are some ideas how to go about it without freaking out:

  • Always start within, and start in the farthest corners of our closet by evaluating clothes I have not worn in a year or two. This does not include seasonal travel clothes, however. I’m talking about clothes I say I’ll fit into one day but I know I just won’t, clothes that have seen better days, or idle clothes I’ve been holding on to for no reason at all.
  • I donate to the Salvation Army or to communities who accept second-hand clothes. Anything that’s torn, ripped, stained, snagged or hole-y gets turned into rags. I never give away clothing I myself will not wear.
  • Another space you can go to would be drawers where you stuff bills and receipts. I’m pretty sure many of us have that drawer. Yes, that one. I typically keep monthly bills good for a year for whatever reason. After a year, they all have to go. Receipts from restaurants, take-away, taxi cabs or whatever — if you still have them in your pockets or the inner sleeves of your wallet, ask yourself ‘Why am I still holding on to these?’ 🙂
  • I only buy what is needed, what is necessary, and never in excess. Cabinets are not bursting at the edges. How many pans do I really need? Check the pantry. I’m pretty sure some bottled dried herbs are 6 months to a year past its shelf life.  I just spotted two and disposed of them over the weekend.
  • The only stuff I have a lot of are my paints and sketchbooks, but that’s because they’re consumable and used for work. I also don’t buy more paint as necessary as they will dry up if stored too long.  When people look inside my closet, they’re shocked. Why? Because there’s so much space, and to think it’s a shared closet I have with my husband.
  • I donate and give things away while it is still in working, usable or presentable condition. If you have gadgets, appliances and other household stuff you no longer need, give it to someone who can make the best of it while in good order.
  • Finally, I only buy what fits in the house and things that have a direct purpose or function. If there is no room for it at home, I won’t make room for it if it’s not a necessity.  I simply won’t buy it. When you live in a building apartment where you have a booth for a kitchen, then there simply is no room for that air-fryer  or that dehydrator I’ve been eyeing for quite some time now.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Out with the old.

In with the new.

 

The Art Of Gratefulness

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If there’s one thing I learned over the years, gratitude is more than just being thankful in your heart or blurting out a perfunctory nicety. How does gratefulness hold all the pieces of my life and career together?

To be honest, I believe it’s something I tend to take for granted on many days and overlook in my so-called busyness.  Building an art career (or any career, for that matter) is not a one-woman job.  Whatever success I’ve achieved in my life is a result of an amalgamation of creativity, work and faith — mine and yours.

Being thankful, is not just a word or a fuzzy feeling. It’s really a lot of work and conscious effort.

How have I made gratitude real and tangible, really?  Hmm. Good question. Let me count the ways (5 of them, so far).

  • When I first started my art career early 2000s, there was no such thing as self-promotion because social media did not exist back then. Simply put, our careers back then relied mostly on traditional print and TV media editors.  I got lucky and writers sought me out on their own. All it took was one significant write-up in a major broadsheet to get the wheels turning.  Each time a local editor published something about my work, I always delivered a sincere hand-written thank-you note along with a small print or illustration.
  • Over time, whenever I would hit a  major milestone in my work, I would reach out to past establishments, writers and editors, to give them an update to thank them for helping me get a leg up and for giving me a chance to get my work out there.They didn’t have to do anything for me, but they did so because they must have found some value in what I do. And that is what I’m grateful for. I still touch base with many of them more than a decade later.
  • When I come across a book that has a profound impact in my life, I reach out to the bestselling author a letter via their Facebook page or email. I express how their words and insights have moved me in an unforeseen but magical direction.  Them writing me back is of no consequence to me.  But guess what? THEY DO.  Sometimes two weeks late if they’re very busy, but they write back a sincere note with an apology for their delayed response.  And they are equally thankful to hear from you and me.
  • When I used to work in the 9-to-5, I did the rounds of job interviews. And I went to a LOT! Like seriously, even the ones that may seem slightly off-tangent. But I believed in forming links through even the vaguest of job applications. Sometimes the interviewer would deem me unqualified/overqualified for the position BUT knew someone who needed someone like me.  He or she then passed my credentials to others which led me to eventually landing me a job. Every time I’d come out of an interview, I remember sending out a brief e-mail upon returning home (because back in the day you could only email from the home computer!), thanking them for their time and energy. It might not mean a lot, but it’s my way of acknowledging the other that I appreciate them for considering me worthy of their time at the very least.  Gratitude is also a skill to be practiced.  When I used to work in a PR firm, I was taught that all thank-you notes and responses after a correspondence, event or receiving something nice needs to be sent out IMMEDIATELY (no excuses nowadays with social media and smart phones!).  Now that I’m self-employed, I still continue this practice whenever I come home from any sort of  meeting, face-to-face or online,  results favourable or not. I say “thank you” not because I need to get something out of it, but I do it because I think the other deserves to hear it.
  • Finally, I count my blessings whenever I catch myself griping about something that is not up to par with my expectations.  When I catch myself in a spiritual snag, I blurt something out under my breath, sometimes struggling especially on days when things are going nowhere where I want it to. “Thank you for ____ ” or “I am grateful that ____”.  Yes, I whisper it out loud because I need to hear myself say it.  And it can be for anything, big and small, and the most trivial of things: from lying down on a comfortable bed, to having art supplies, to having all my faculties about and being  a fully abled and functioning human being, to having my husband and Jones on the couch with me, or the kind words someone shared with me that day. It’s easy to feel thankful when you get exactly what you want. The days that feel a bit more parched and wanting, however, are what I feel is the real challenge of my own sense of gratitude.

I think it’s also quite easy to dwell on what is not that it really takes will and conscious energy to embrace the is and the now.  The temptation to need and want abounds in many aspects of my life that gratitude acts as my anchor and beacon all at once, to shine the light on who and where I am supposed to be, which  is right here and now.

And that at this very moment, as an artist and everyday human being, I am gratefully enough.

That One Person Who Told Me To Start

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A timely post written in an old blog waaaay back in 2010.

When my entire life was on part-time everything, juggling at least three jobs to pay my overhead,  and stalling with a very indecisive art career.  This post is about that one individual who opened my eyes to a world of exponential possibilities.  I don’t think we even have a photo together.

But this story is about her. This is Myra.

***

“So, wait. You’re not employed? How do you work, then?”

She beamed, “I’m freelance and set things up on my own.”  (This was the year 2000, and I had no idea what ‘freelance’ even meant!)

“That’s hard. I don’t think I can afford an office!”

“Darling, all you need to survive is a computer, internet and a telefax”, Myra said lightly and gestured as if she were touching the items around her.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I can ever do what you do.”

Myra’s eyes widened at my pessimism then burst out in laughter, that shrill sound like a crescendo of chugging machinery and sweet song as she emphatically said, “Go for it, girl!”

Back in 2000, I was only 23 when I met this embodiment of cheer known as Myra Lopez at a modeling agency we worked for. When I left, that was when she asked me out to coffee. She was the first freelance professional I’ve encountered at a time when it wasn’t even an option for many, and I  had no clue that such a thing existed. She was a writer (and back then I didn’t believe writing was a “real” job) and worked on various media projects. She was several years my senior and I respected her accordingly and was in awe of the energy she brought with her wherever she went.

My concept of freelance back then was tied to the idea of starving artists like Vincent Van Gogh who went mad.
 
I didn’t want to go crazy.
 

I also didn’t want to starve.

Myra eventually left for San Francisco but we kept in touch through email as I sailed through one institution to the next, with her writing me to visit should I happen to be in the neighborhood.  Over the years, I stuck it out at being employed but eventually found my niche in teaching ESL and public speaking.  Still, through time, I kept tabs as I hit each milestone of my life as I responded to her brief one-liner emails “Do you already have a boyfriend?” signaling that she was busy.

Last year, I realized that I subconsciously heeded her advice all along as I carved a name in the industry one stroke at a time. When I officially left cubesville to follow a more creative life, I sent her photos of my artwork sometime in 2005 to which she responded with lots of exclamation points, “I’m so happy you’re finally following your dreams!!!”

After not hearing from her since the time I received a Christmas post card from her at around 2006, I decided to dig up her last email and write her again early last year, to thank her for being that one mover in my life. Also, I thought that in the era of Facebook, she should be somewhere there.  But she was nowhere to be found online.

What turned up in my search, however, was the worst thing you’d want to read about  someone dear to you: an obituary.

 

I now find myself juggling teaching schedules with media-related writing and editing PR content, as well as conceiving creative concepts for design and scripts. Looking back, all this began when I met a friend long ago whose media career unknowingly inspired mine.

May the winds carry this borderless message of deep-felt gratitude to the heavens above, to thank Myra for telling me to use my wings and fly.  You are horribly missed.

 
***

Why I Created The ‘Big Blank Page’

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Why The ‘Big Blank Page’ is not for kids.

Kids, by default, get so much support for creativity.  Whether it’s in school, weekend or community activities or even art lessons on TV programs,  kids have a slew of options to explore,  get happy and experiment with all things artful and creative.

Adults, however, have fewer choices that offer the same spirit.  Which is why I think grown-ups need me more than kids. For now.

The class is also a forum where we discuss the ghosts of our creative past: from teachers who may have made careless comments about our work, to a family who does not believe in art, topics that young kids may not have experienced or  be fully aware of, and can prevent them from participating in the discussion.

sketchbook-class-copy

Grown-ups need a break from adulting.

Many of the classes for adults I see are either structured lessons or art “jams” with hobbyists and/or professional artists — both of which can be intimidating for those who feel too shy about their own work.

Sometimes, adults want to make art without the pressure of perfection, judgment, or being instructed to draw “the right way”.

Sometimes, we just want to make a lot of nothing, enjoy the freedom of the beautiful mess,  and draw for its own sake.

Because every line, shape and color is valid.

You will draw.

I will not argue with you if your convictions dictate that you cannot draw.

But I am of unwavering belief and faith that everyone can draw. And I mean EVERYONE.

It’s just a matter of to what degree you can draw.

It’s crucial to remember  two things: 1. that what is considered beautiful is highly subjective, and 2. there is so much beauty in imperfection.

There’s more to art than being a Michelangelo or a Rembrandt. There’s also Rothko, Pollock and Matisse.  And if you can draw like you, then I believe that’s the best kind of artist to be.

Regardless of what you say or do, hemming and hawing, you will and can draw something.

If the shoe fits.

Some people like to draw flowers, others like swirly things, some like smiley faces, others like to make dots.  The ‘Big Blank Page’ acts as a springboard for your own exploration as you discover the smoothest groove for your artistic movement, what feels most natural and empowering for you to do artfully.

The creative journey is not meant to be travelled alone.

This is perhaps the paramount reason why I created the ‘Big Blank Page’.  I got tired of creating art by myself. Then I thought to myself, “Maybe there are others out there who are just like me, looking for a safe and supportive circle where we can make art freely.”

Making art, I learned, is all about community.  And this creative spirit is the very sanctuary on which the ‘Big Blank Page’ is built.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Does One Become A Professional Artist?

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People have asked me this: “How does one become a professional artist?”

Now that I look back, I realise that being a professional and working artist, with emphasis on “professional”,  goes beyond talent, imagination and skill.

sketchbook class

“My word is my bond.”

I picked up this principle when I worked in a bank. It is a phrase used by stock brokers on the trading floor, wherein agreements and financial transactions are made and delivered without signing any documents.  This is a value that was deeply ingrained in me ever since, and one that, I believe, makes me a valuable artist to work with.  As a working artist, it is important to be regarded as someone reliable and trustworthy, whether it comes to being punctual at meetings, responding to email messages quickly, following through on a commitment, and completing a project on or before the agreed date.

Language is of the essence.

When writing professional correspondence with clients, be mindful of your tone, choice of words and grammar. Emojis, smiley faces and LOLs are reserved for chat messages with friends.  I would also recommend to keep cute language and emojis at a minimum when responding on social media because nowadays, our chosen platform serves as a window to our work. This applies especially to the name or handle we assign to our social media accounts. So please think carefully and choose a name that can easily be spelled and remembered, and one that you feel reflects your brand best.  Finally, for as long as the purpose of the written transaction is about work, keep the language polished.  It will remind clients that they are working with someone who takes their work seriously.

Let your “office” reflect who you are.

Let’s face it. Not many of us will have workspace that clients will be able to visit.  With the internet, however, we are able to set up a virtual office, a room of our own, where people all over the world can visit at any time of the day.  Whatever platform we choose,  whether it’s Tumblr, Instagram or Facebook pages, it would be best to be mindful of the quality of our photos and the visual content that we post.  Keep the selfies, duckface and OOTDs to a bare minimum if it’s not relevant to what you do. Save the passive-aggressive quotes for your personal FB account.

Putting our best foot forward works to anyone’s advantage, which means going the extra mile with good composition, cleaning, adjusting the tilt or brightening of our pictures.

Uphold industry standards when stating your fees.

As a working artist, you get paid. And frankly, discussing money is perhaps my least favorite part about transacting art.  Good news though: it gets easier over time, I promise.  You eventually gain confidence in the discussing money as you learn to pick up financial language that is neither demanding or imposing.

But the most important thing for artists is to never undervalue yourself.  Please. To begin with, stop working for free.  Unless it’s a charity, an NGO or a cause that is close to your heart, you must get paid that is commensurate to your efforts.  Back in the day, we were at the mercy of industry movers for exposure in getting our name out there — simply because there wasn’t any social media available for us to do the work ourselves.

The promise of exposure as payment  does not work anymore in this era. Unless it’s some really high-profile client of massive proportions, or one that you think will be a fruitful springboard for your goals, exposure simply does not pay.

Be humble and grateful.

This is one practice I’ve done for as long as I can remember.  After meeting a potential client in person or over the phone, or when a project has been concluded, always send a message of thanks. This goes such a long way.

Thank them for their time and their effort to come meet with you.  Thank them for their ideas. Thank them for the experience.  To this day, I still thank the key people who gave me a break when I was just starting in 2004.  It makes such a huge difference simply saying ‘thank you’ for the opportunity to work together and for their support, big and small.

The world is small and things have a way of finding its way back to you. When you plant the seeds of kindness and exercise sincerity and goodwill, people will sense it and will be more than happy to pass your name to someone else.

Of course people will remember you for your talent, but being remembered for your character is simply priceless.

The Art Of Swimming To Shore

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Some days are succulent, others a bit parched.

Today I feel the full pang of uncertainty.  And I absolutely hate it.

I am not a fan of being wishy-washy: in others and especially with myself.  It just hit me out of the blue.  The one thing about the creative journey I detest is its unpredictable nature.

I like plans. I like making lists. And I like crossing things out one by one. But sometimes, things don’t go according to plan. My plan.

Sometimes I think of so many things that I need to do that it actually tires me out. People think I’m especially hard on myself. And it’s true. I wish I could change that as well.

I’m the type of person who thinks in black and white. Grey areas I find rather annoying. But I guess life really is one massive grey patch in this entire universe.  I always thought I had a PhD in dealing with uncertainty but that doesn’t mean it gets easier each time.  It just reminds me this isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with it.

Part of me feels like I’m running on empty, part of me feels like swimming against a riptide.  They say to swim against it will only prove fatal.

To survive is to stop moving.

Experienced divers told me  the only way out of an undertow is to stop flailing,  allow your body to relax and float, and then swim parallel to shore instead of fighting to rush towards it.

And the most important thing: don’t panic.

artist's workspace

So this is what I’m doing now:

  • I’ve finished my 3rd novel, including the last installation of Harry Potter (which is captivating by the way!).
  • I’m now on my third art book today.
  • I stare out the window and into the sea a bit longer than usual.  If it’s not so humid, I might even decide to walk there for a change.
  • I am going through other pilates exercises I haven’t done in a long time.
  • I just had lots of ice cream with a friend who came over today.
  • I’ve started answering letters from blog and Instagram friends.
  • I’ll write out some letters.
  • I’m gonna take a nap. I don’t take naps.
  • I will clean up my workspace.
  • I will spiral out and won’t make art this entire week.

I am doing nothing.

A lot of nothing.

And I will swim back to shore.

***

5 Thoughts On “Art Inc.” And Why You Should Read It

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It took me a while to finish reading “Art, Inc.” by Lisa Congdon.  I bought this when it was released but put it down as I got distracted with other things.  Last week, I finally picked it up again and devoured its last pages by this morning.

art inc by lisa congdon

It’s for the working artist.

Simply put, all the ideas, options and possibilities for all forms of art are spelled out for any artist who wants to make a living off their work.  From licensing, illustrating children’s books to fine art selling, it’s all up to the artist to test them out and see what works best with your art.

It’s concise and comprehensive.

The flow of content is very easy to follow. The tone is friendly and language of writing is pretty straightforward. It makes it easy to digest all the information one page after the other. The book is rich with the author’s personal experiences and thoughts as a flourishing artist, so it makes the written ideas very, very real for the reader.

The testimonials are a source of encouragement.

The book features 20 interviews with artists of different fields.  I absolutely love hearing and reading about other people’s lives and how they carved their creative path, what worked and what didn’t.

The layout.

The aesthetics of the book affect my way of reading.  The main reason I put the book down was my vision had a hard time adjusting through the lengthy content on portions of red-orange pages and orange-on-white pages. I managed avoiding the strain by reading only in natural daylight, and not under a lamp. It changed everything and I sped through the book effortlessly thereafter.

The list of resources.

Lisa Congdon makes building a career out of art a concrete experience ,  as she  thoroughly  lists down specific resources: from conferences, galleries, printers, residencies, etc.  I think this is the part about the book I love best because it gets the ball rolling and gives you a specific starting point and orientation.  

I am so glad I got a copy for myself because it filled in a lot of gaps and opened my mind to the vast ways of doing things across the multitude of  art fields and personalities there are in the world. I honestly believe both the established and neophyte artists have so much to gain from reading this book!   “Art Inc.” is a great source of inspiration, a bubbling well of ideas and a fantastic instrument to get the wheels of your mind turning and makes you want to get off your seat and do something right now.

***

 

From The Kitchen: Leche Flan

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After a blah Friday night, I’m having a friend come over tonight for some home-cooked things and maybe a glass, or two.  It was a rough night, after terminating my sushi dinner 30 minutes after sitting down as my light-sensitive migraine attacked me full-blast. It was so intense that I threw up when I made it home.  I panicked a little as I don’t typically throw up, no matter how much alcohol I’ve had. So it was that bad.

Even after I turned off all the lights, threw myself on the bed and covered my eyes with a sleeping mask from a previous airplane ride, I still felt like there were giant waves gushing inside my head and body. And no, a migraine is not a headache.

The only cure for me is pitch-black darkness, utmost silence and sleep. So I did that and now I’m almost back to normal.

And I’m going to celebrate by cooking up a storm today and capping the night with leche flan: a traditional Filipino dessert made from either from carabao, evaporated or condensed milk topped with caramelised sugar. It’s likened to a denser panna cotta without the gelatin.

leche flan recipe

I am very sensitive to sweets so my version has a lighter texture, somewhere between a traditional flan and a panna cotta, with a delicately sweet flavor that’s easy on the palate.

LECHE FLAN RECIPE

1 tall can evaporated milk

4 whole eggs, beaten

2/3c caster sugar for flan

1/2c caster sugar for caramel

1/2 tsp vanilla

In a bowl, beat the eggs lightly and add 2/3c sugar to dissolve.  Add milk and vanilla and mix into the mixture. Set aside.

In a llanera mold (I forgot to bring them here to Singapore so I use a round cake pan), throw in the 1/2c sugar and caramelise this over the stove.

Once the sugar melts into a nice golden brown liquid, start moving really fast to prevent the leche flan from hardening and cracking. Using a sieve, pour the milky-egg mixture into the caramelly pan and quickly transfer to a steamer.

Cover and steam over medium fire, 30-45 minutes.  You know your flan is ready when you tap the surface lightly with a spoon and it’s bouncy and solid.

*****